A Little Story- part 1

She was running late for dinner, her friends have been waiting for her for thirty minutes and she still needs at least another twenty minutes.. she was trying to figure out which blouse to wear when her phone started ringing.. she wanted to ignore it knowing that it will be one of her friends hurrying her up but when it kept ringing and ringing she had to answer… she looked at the number wondering which one of her nagging friends could it be when she got shocked… it wasnt one of her girlfriends, it was the number of her ex-boyfriend who broke her heart a year ago.. she couldnt handle the shock she satt on her bed not being able to stop staring at her phone..

She didnt know what to do, should she answer or not? She kept waiting and waiting for this phone call for months and when she lost hope and finally decided to move on he decided to call?

Flashes of good and bad memories went through her head.. she remembered their first date and the fight she had with her friends asking them to stop sending her on blind dates and then how they mocked her after she thanked them for setting her up with this amazing guy who was able to impress her after 5 minutes of talking to him.. and then she remembered their last phone call after a month of acting weird and several times of not answering her phone calls when he told her that he really liked her but he had to travel and asked her not to wait for him… 

She was confused and was able to hear her heart pounding when the phone stopped ringing… she didnt know how she felt.. she felt sad as she was aching to hear his voice and yet happy to finally be able to not answer his phone calls.. why was he calling her after all this time? what does he want?

She was still staring at the phone with all these thoughts storming into her head when the phone started ringing again.. it was him… she finally decided to pick up… she cleared her throat and answered: Hello…

To be continued…

I thought I was done…

I have dreamt about it for the last 10 years of my life.. I put it on my resolution list every year and had help from my family and friends all the way and yet was not able to achieve it..

Time made me realize that there are different ways to achieve your goals and sometimes what you thought was the best way turned out to be wrong. You try new ways and new roads everytime hoping to get what you want and most of the times you fail..

Failure made me stronger and helped me achieve other things on the way of trying to reach this one.. sometimes it was so close i was afraid to tell anyone until i get it and yet it slipped away so many times.

Last month I thought I was done, I finally got it… I finally succeeded.. It was much more than i expected so I tought this is my reward for waiting and fighting for it that long.. it was a long hard road and I deserve it..

The feeling was not what I imagined it to be but it was good.. I have realized that sometimes no matter how much you think you can do it on your own, you need someone beside you advising you all the way..No matter how much you know, you need someone to be there for you helping you out and feeling happy for you when you finally achieve your goal..

I was so close, I was so ready for it, and it slipped away again… Did I do something wrong? i dont know.. I did it differently this time and yet it slipped away.. I felt sad, I felt devastated, I felt mad from the pitty looks of the people around me..

Will I ever have it? Will it ever be mine? I know I have to keep trying and trying but isnt 10 years long enough? Should I take it as a sign that I should stop??? I hope its not..

University Relationships…

My brother is a very decent guy.. he is a brother that any girl would wish for.. He never had teenaging problems, he never drank alcohol, never caused us trouble and is so loving we all love him so much..

He is in his last year in college and yet he never had a girlfriend as he does not believe in relationships for the sake of having fun… he always said that as he does not like anything to happen to us (his sisters) he is sure that the girls that he might go out with have brothers who want the same thing to their sisters.. 

He always said that if he ever went out with a girl it would be for something serious and when you are young seriousness has nothing to do with it..

The thing is he met a girl a month ago, she is a sweet girl and it seems that he really likes her.. As his older sister he came to me for advice.. We discussed the fact that he is still very young and he is leaving in a year to work abroad.. and him saying that they can yikra2o il fat7a before he leaves and then see what will happen shocked me.. he is my baby brother and I want for him to live his life, enjoy it, travel, see the world, and then decide to settle down..

I didnt know what to tell him.. he said that altough he never felt like this before but no matter what i tell him he will do it, that left me with nothing to say..

Altough I do not believe in school and university relationships as I believe a person at that age is too young to know what he wants, especially guys, I know some cases that turned out “happily ever after” or at least so far..

I dont know what to tell him, he is still 21… isnt that too early for a guy to settle down? why should he start his career life with the burden of getting money to get married.. Work is different than university, it builds your character and matures you.. and I wanted him to experience all that before getting committed to someone.. and if they are meant to be then no matter how long he travelled they will eventually meet again..

Am I wrong? could I be standing in the way of his happiness? I dont know..

Second Chances…

Do you believe in giving someone a second chance? if someone who hurt you and disappointed you in the past came back asking for a second chance do you think you should give it to him?

I believe that if you love someone you should let them go and if they come back they are … broken..

And what is broken is broken, you wont gain anything other than hurting yourself if you tried fixing it.. and no matter how much you tried to glue it back together the cracks will always be noticable no matter how much you try to hide them..

what do you think?

How many times…?

How many times can a person bear getting his heart broken?

How many times can a person pretend that he is fine when he is not?

How many times can a person hear you are a surviver, you can make it while he feels that he cant?

How many times can a person hear you deserve better while he believes that this was the best thing that ever happened to him?

How many times can a person smile and say it happens while his heart is aching?

How many times can a person look back and think what if?

How many times can a person accept people feeling pitty for him?

How many times can a person hear you will eventually find someone who deserves you?

How many times can a person wonder should I ask for closure or just keep my pride and move on?

How many times can a person survive being disappointed?

How many times can a person play strong while he is so fragile?

How many times can a person bear seeing his hopes and dreams get shattered while people are watching?

How many times can a person wait for someone while he knows he is not coming back?

How many times…?

Ending Relationships…

Your comments regarding my post “Finding your Soul Mate, but…” were very felpful but unfortunately turned out to be in vain… the guy dumped her… I cant believe it..

This is not a guy who she met through friends or by herself… it was arranged by their families, and yet he turned out to be an ***…

He promised her the clouds, he was talking to her about their life after marriage and how all he wants is to make her happy.. they even talked about the numbers and names of the children they are going to have, and then what did he do??? he DISSAPEARED.. he did not even respect her and treate her in a mature way by telling her to her face that its not going to work.. the guy is 40 years old for God’s sake, and yet he behaved like a child..

What do guys do that? believe me we would really appreciate you if you talk to us directly and tell us that you dont think we are compatible enough and that its not going to work out.. this will make us respect you and wish you luck..

He simply stopped calling and stopped returning her phone calls…  are we in high school?! I know you might think that she should not jump to conclusions and that something might  have happended to him, but no, he is just BUSY…

Guys, guys, guys…. I dont believe that all guys are a** h****, but some girls do know how to attract them..

I really really feel sorry for her, this girl went through a lot in her life and she finally thought that this is the person that will make her happy.. she talked to me about her future plans with him and how she imagines their life together would be.. she talked to me about what he likes and what he doesnt and how she is willing to do anything to make him happy.. she is even willing to overlook his gay clothes

Its sad, I dont know what to tell her, we all have been there and yet you feel you have nothing to say.. sometimes in these situations all your bad memories come back out of no where and you feel that you need a shoulder to cry on.. 

But I guess all I can say is that everyone deserves a good decent person to love… someone who would appreciate and respent you.. but on your way to finding this person you will face a lot of bumps that might stop you… all you have to do is jump over these bumps and never look back at them.. jump so high and enjoy it believing that at the end the person that is meant for you will catch you and will lead your way..  

The Moment of Truth

MBC 4 is running this program called Moment of Truth.. its a show where the contestants will be asked a 100 questions before the show while wearing a lie detector machine… during the show, he will be asked 25 questions from these 100 questions while some members of his family or friends attend, he could change his answer that he answered before as long as he does not lie….

I have to say that I like the show but it causes a lot of trouble.. it seems that they do a very good job researching the life of the participant and ask really embarassing and sometimes hurting questions.. the questions are like ”did you ever fantasize about one of your wife’s friends?!” or ” are you hiding a secret that could end your marriage?” “have you ever stuffed you “thing” to make it look bigger?” what the hell??!

The other day they got a guy who dated two sisters and married the third… of course one of the questions was “did you have a sexual relationship with the other 2 sisters?”

And another time they go an ex-boyfriend of the participant while her current boyfriend was there and asked her if she regrets leaving him.. and the answer was YES!!

But do you want to know whats the funny part about this?! MBC is creating an Arabic version out of this show!!! Can you imagine what will happen if the female was a Jordanian?? her husband or brother will enter the studio, shoots her, shoots the host, then the camera man, then the director then surrender himself to the police proudly..

No matter how much they tried to ask more generic questions, our Arabic world cannot handle it.. I mean I dont think I can do it, I admit that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet, and they will not only hurt me but some will hurt the people that I love..

I dont think i can do it.. Can you?

Finding your Soul Mate, but….

One of my best friends met a guy who she finally liked..

We are all shocked and I think she is as well.. she used to always fight with us or her family if we told her that we want to introduce her to someone.. this was different… she thought about it for a while and then said ok..

The funny story is that his nephew was the one she was supposed to meet… both the nephew (who is only 4 years younger that his uncle) and the uncle live in Dubai, so when the unlce was coming to Jordan his nephew asked him to check her out for him without anyone knowing… The uncle checked out where she worked and visited her company as a Client.. what happend next? the uncle fell in love with her immediately…

he talked to his nephew and convinced him to let him (the uncle) go out with her instead.. and this is how it happened..

When she went out with him for the first time, they kept talking for three hours… she used to call us to help her escape after an hour.. it was not the case this time..

He is 11 years older than her, which is something she used to refuse before even meeting the guy, but this time she says he does not look it and it is making her feel young although she is approaching her big 30… he is sweet, honest, and to a certain point religious.. all what she was looking for..

Her only problem is with the way he dresses… he is not that good looking and that was never a problem for her, and this is tall with a nice body… but she hates his clothes..

We tried to tell her that this all can be changed but it seems that this is bothering her.. I kind of understood what she means.. i mean you try to over look this stupid thing, you should never judge someone from the way they dress but it does affect you..

She said she remember when he first came in to her company they all thought he was gay… too tight shirt with the first 3 buttons opended and a too tight jeans under it.. she tries not to care but she feels embarassed sometimes when she is going out with him..

She knows he might not like the way she dresses and she might get offeneded if he said anything but she doesnt know what to do… should she tell him? and if yes how and when is a propriate way?

I did not know what to tell her as I have never been in such a situation, and dont tell me she is shallow because believe me no matter how much you try to over look it, it will affect you..

What do you think?

Living a Lie…

I think no matter how much you think you know someone, it seems that you never really know them..

A friend of mine told me a story about another friend, or you can say an acquaintance, that shocked me..  She is a pretty, well educated girl who comes from a very good background.. Her family is very well known and is considered to be a “Class A” if I may say..

If you know them you would think that they are the perfect family.. great parents, a very nice house in a very ”high class” area, a car for every person in the family and they travel whenever they want wherever they want..

Apparently the family is in a great debt and they are living a life that they cannot afford!!!

They live paycheck to paycheck, they took huge amount of mortgages to pay for the cars.. their aunt’s husbands are the ones who are paying for the children’s schools, their house was bought by a relative  before the bank had the chance to take it and allowed them to stay in it..

The father does not have his own business, he works for someone who used to work for him when they were richer..

And why is that? because the father spent all his money on his hookers!!! apparently the parents were divorced before but they decided to stay together for the kids sake.. and what result did that give? the children and their mother have to lie and live a life that is not theirs in order to cover up for their father’s mistake.. his wife is almost a model, one of the pretties people I have ever seen… his chidren are well raised (by their mother of course) and are trying to be something different that their father..

His family hates him and is ashamed from him.. he is a looser who goes back home at 3 or 4 am every day, he keeps taking money from his wife and daughter and is not ashamed of getting loan after loan and not paying back knowing that his wife and children will definately pay for it in order not to yinfid7o.. but does he care? of course not..

I dont know where I am going with this but this really made me sad.. and I am sure that there are a lot of people like them… If I were in their situation, I dont know what would I have done.. I dont know if the mother did the right thing by not leaving him and making her children go through all of this in order for people not to say that their parents are “divorced”..

   

  

A Sad Post…

It has been a while since I wrote anything, or even read any of your blogs (sorry), but the last few weeks were not that great… my uncle passed away a couple of weeks ago, and I miss him so much… he is not my direct uncle he is my mother’s uncle but we were so close he was almost a father to me..

When we were kids, we never thought about life and death, we believed that the people around us will stay forever, we never thought about the future, our utmost dream was growing up to be a teacher or a pilot… and then when we grew up all we thought about was finishing school and going to college, maybe finding a job and for some getting married, but we never thought that the older we get the older the people around us will get and the possibility of them not staying in our lives will increase..

I did not mean for this to be a sad post but death saddens me, it makes me remember that as time goes by the people you love will leave, and someday you will too…   

P.S.: I promise to make my next post a happier one